Katamari Damacy meets Marble Madness? That... actually isn't a horrible idea.
If you played with the physics you could have a really unique puzzle game on your hands. Abosorbing metal could make you faster and heavier, water would make you slippery and glide around, any combination of elements would create unique gameplay throughout the game with an ulitmate goal of "eating" enough junk. It would be up to the player what they absorbed. A skillful player may grab tons of water and beat a level in record time, but have to skillfully maneuver around bridges and such without dying.
I think you need to make the gameplay a little less 1 dimensional and give the player a bit more freedom of movement. Too many narrow bridges to cross. Find a way to really expand the playfield while keeping it interesting and not require so much hand placed art assets.
Get that physics system in place, make some expansive fun to play levels and you may have something. Also Katamari Damacy is an example of something so wacky and out there that it appeals to everyone, sorta like your anubis vs. the magicians
. In fact find a way to bring your zany 3d art into the game, it's a crowd favorite for sure.