Inspired by the excellent Fantasy Novelist's Exam and some joking around in #md, I figured we could get together a list of similarly soul-searching questions that any serious game developer would have to ask themselves. Here's what we've come up with so far:

- Have you ever worked on a game thats been canceled? twice?

- Is your game set in a postapocalyptic world?

- Is your game an MMO?

- Do you pitch your game as "GTA meets _____" ?

- Is your game best described as GTA without most of the fun?

- Have you worked for EA?

- Have you been screwed by EA?

- Reread the previous question and answer truthfully.

- Is your game a thinly veiled tech demo?

- Is your game a remake of a game that came out 10 years ago?

- Are you remaking said game just for brand recognition?

- Are you making a game with a title that ends in a number?


please, contribute your own questions [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

- Is your games selling point the fact that Jack Thompson hates it

- Is your game based on an existing franchise that's going to have it's own movie soon?

- Do you ever find yourself thinking, 'It's ok, sex sells.'?

- Have you ever actually felt bad that your female protagonist isn't wearing more armor?

is your current series up to 13 in the title, but having 15 other titles sharing the same name but without sequential numbers?

did said series only have one direct sequel that was met with lukewarm reaction?

has a game in said series, several numbers back recently produced 2 prequels, one movie, one sequel game to the movie, a mobile phone game and a tech demo remake of the intro to the original game even though the original had 60+hrs of gameplay but still you feel you did not finish telling the tale?

is your main male villian more effeminate than your female lead?

does your game start off with the hero being a bit of an ass but by the end becomes a caring world saving hero?

does your game have multiple playable characters but only allow you to play 3 at a time leaving 3/4 of your party at their base level?

does your main hero spend the entire game NOT SPEAKING?
does he mime his intents?

does quite effeminate lead hero get asked for sex by the massivly endowed barely of age president's daughter, but turns her down further enhancing his ambiguity?

do your female characters wear skirts?
is there a weapon with zoom feature in the game?
are there un-level places where you can use said weapon to look up said skirt?
do you texture panties on said females because you know your target audience are perverts?

are your villians more like escaped mental patients than highly trained soldiers in an elite military unit?

Snake, do you think love can blossom, even on a battlefield?

Snake? SNAKE?! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!?

- Are you supercore?

- Is your game a sci-fi first person shooter pitting man against aliens?

- Is your game a World War I or II shooter?

I read a few of them.. too many for a lazy bast like me to check if they have already been done

- In your games, does a villian reveal to the player his 'true' form?

- Does your game feature historically accurate giant crab monsters?

iz dat sum joke gauss, or do you just not like me any more?
;(

- Does your 3D game looks worse than its previous 2D version?

Are you slightly updating the graphics of a nfl/nhl/fifa game so that another annual sequal can be released?

Are you still using 90s vintage metal music to accompany your game play levels?

Is your game still using command line codes to change game play or control variables?

Could a description of your main character be boiled down to "space marine?"

Does you game have more than 3 corridor sections?

Does you game involve hijacking cars, killing pedestrians, etc.

- Is the most common item in your game's version of the universe a crate?

I suppose asking "Is it possible for the player to reach a situation from which he cannot win but can save his game?" is too serious?

Do you:

- Stop patching a game that still has major bugs in order to make a sequel?
- Decide that since Counterstrike is popular you should make an exact clone of it?
- Decide that for any other game?
- Try to make an RTS when all you ever do in a game is build defenses and rush for the super units?
- Promise that your game will allow the player to do anything he wants, every choice influences the world but in the end the game only allows the player to look good or evil and get a different ending movie?
- Write into your public "dev diary" how the AI characters in your game do so many things you didn't expect yet in the final game all they seem to do is run straight at the player and die?
- Think that placing savepoints one or two hours of gameplay apart is necessary to make the game challenging?
- Make a game series that's in the double digits now and all games feature almost the same story?
- Consider random enounters a good way to add more play time to your game?
- Assume the player won't notice if you just paste the same room a few times in a row in an FPS?
- Realize bloom is "next-gen" and the more you add of it the better your game looks?
- Think an RTS wouldn't be fun if the player could select more than 12 units at the same time or queue more than 6 production orders?
- Invest more and more money into copy protection systems yet your game still seems to be available for download on day 0?
- Think those hundreds of complaints about the game not running because the copy protection is borked are only the pirates?
- Consider requiring an internet connection to install your singleplayer game?
- Really think the pirates will be the ones inconvenienced by your "unbreakable" copy protection?
- Want to make an MMORPG even though your company is just a startup?
- Does your game feature crates?
- Barrels? Preferrably exploding and conveniently placed between a few enemies?
- Sewers, especially if it's the official game of a movie that doesn't involve sewers?

little less bitterness would be nice kdr. we're just having fun.

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- Barrels? Preferrably exploding and conveniently placed between a few enemies?

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wtf thats the best bit of playing a game! KA-Boom!


edit: is your game based on playing darts?

Does your hero make unescessary commando rolls.

Do badgers drop coin and maybe a leather jerkin?

Does the overuse of specualar maps make your world look plastic.

Does your game have elves?

Does your game have trolls?

Does your animation rig include "breast bones" ?

does your main character think that eating a turky leg found behind a concrete block in a stairway is a good way to replenish health.

do your monsters socialize behind special secret walls,, sometimes even in special secret walls that are behind other special secret walls.

ninja cyborgs? awesome idea? or incredibly awesome idea?

do we want to slap your games "hero" and tell him to stop being a whiney bitch.

do you think that movie would make a great game?

Does installing the game require the user to restart?

do you think that being able to license the unreal engine for your game makes you that much closer to god?

- Is the main idea behind your game that it's a [insert famous franchise]-killer?

- Do your monsters carry first aid kits and always forget to use them before they die leaving them conviently for your hero to use?

- Do you think that adding one more crate will help ballance a level visually and in game play?

- Do you ever allow the player to collect most of the good items? But before they can use them, club them over the back of the head, lock them in some kind of jail and force them to start over?

- Or just not place the needed pieces the ubber item needs to function, in the current level?

- Do you give the player the really cool weapons at the end of the game, with way too little ammo to actually make using it worth it?

- Is there a dungeon/castle/space station that starts exploding once you beat the included boss?
- Do you intendo to turn the player of your game into a female dog?

- does your tutorial level involve enemies who don't attack you?

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Do badgers drop coin and maybe a leather jerkin?

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This one made me laugh out loud [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]