Author : polygoo


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Makk's Avatar
Old (#1)



This guy is supposed to be a street deathmatch fighter.
2254 triangles and 1 1024 diffuse map
The design is abit of a mish mash, I should have concepted it out before I started.
I have finished with it but still any C&C would be great
Offline , spline, 128 Posts, Join Date Oct 2004, Location Australia  
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Jeremy Lindstrom's Avatar
Old (#2)
add some nose room to that mask, one nice punch to the mask and it'd break his nose, currently it looks like it's squashed behind his mask. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

my .5 cents.
Artist formerly known as Dekard
Portfolio Sketchbook Environment Wiki
Offline , veteran polycounter, 2,661 Posts, Join Date Nov 2004, Location Lewisville, TX Send a message via ICQ to Jeremy Lindstrom Send a message via AIM to Jeremy Lindstrom Send a message via MSN to Jeremy Lindstrom  
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hawken's Avatar
Old (#3)
might wanna give him some stitches on the chest. gashes like that would be stretched wide open if they are left to heal without stitches.
My apps: Dadako
UX / UI Designer - and yes my name is Hawken
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John Warner's Avatar
Old (#4)
hey dude. pretty good job. here are some crits from me:

the model is totaly disproportionate. the arms are too short, the hands are too small, the shape of the arm is generaly wrong, the head is shaped incorrectly, the feet are too square, and just look wrong. his arm pits buldge out, the silohette of the torso could be better with the lines you have..

this is common. obviously by the look of your texture you're a pretty fuckin' good artist, so i'm trying to be helpful hehe [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] get reference for the body parts and try to match it exactly. get good reference and don't stop untill it looks perfect. this model could rock man [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] it looks like you've got proper line work to fix it up, it just needs a lot of point pulling.

as far as the texture goes:

the skin is pretty good, but it still looks a little smooth/plasticy. i would suggest adding more texture. in fact, it could just fix it up if you were to do something as simple as get a high rez photo of someone's body, take the skin, desaturate it, and overlay it. sounds hacky, but i've gotten some great results doing stuff like that. your tones already look fairly good, so adding some texture might help him a bit. something about it also seems... plasticy? hard to say. maybe it's your highlights..??

perhaps the highlights themselves are too white, which is a fairly common thing. they need a little bit more colorful, more towards a skin tone.

overall, it could add more filth. the helmet is very clean. i also notice that you're using a noise overlay for textures. alot of people are afraid to use photo overlays, which i very much disagree with. i persoanly dont see how noise is any different and qutie frankly, it just looks worse. i'd paint on some cracks, blood splats if that's your'e fancy, paint chips, scratches, a bit of dust, dirt, that sort of thing.

keep at it man, it's got potential. etiher way, if you just want to be done with it, that's your decision [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

word.
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steady's Avatar
Old (#5)
good job makk! I think john_warner hit all the problem spots, this is how you learn and get better (im no pro myself). I think a 512 map could have been sufficient. Any plans to put him in a game? UT2k4?
Offline , polycounter, 1,031 Posts, Join Date Oct 2004, Location Baltimore, MD Send a message via AIM to steady  
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shotgun's Avatar
Old (#6)
for a nekkid guy you have no excuse for leaving him with so many anatomy mistakes. even if you say the design is a mish mash, it would still look a lot more convincing for what it is - or for what it could be - if the anatomy was correct.

i wont point out what is wrong since its pretty much everything. i dont think you should be forgiving to yourself on these kind of matters, really. still, if you're feeling motivated, id suggest studying the *3d* shape of the lungs and - spreading them out from the spline. once you put those in, youll see how bobbly the shape of the torso is, and things should gradually fall into place.

go for it!

on the techniqual side, the control on photoshop is pretty good, no problems there i suppoce. detail resolution is also good. your colors are weak tho. if you are unsure of your palette, how to make it richer, etc., you can try gamble with more texture overlays that hold more color detail than value detail (like marble)
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Offline , dedicated polycounter, 1,887 Posts, Join Date Nov 2004, Location Israel Send a message via ICQ to shotgun  
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Makk's Avatar
Old (#7)
Thanks for the good hard crits guys [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
As for the proportions, was using some reference from 3dsk, so it must have got lost in translation!! For the record, this was my first human model Ive done.
How is the mesh construction? Being new to 3d I really want to improve in this area the most.
I did use some photo overlays for textures, they are pretty low rez so I guess thats why they look abit noisey.

Dekard: I didnt want to have a nose area pointing out for the design, realisticly yeah he would need one, but I chose style over realism.

Hawken: Yeah, didnt think of that. Also, not sure if the other scars are stand out enough.

John Warner: Good crit man, thanks as I said before I did use reference (I would have been lost without it!) and photo overlays. Just gotta keep working harder to improve

Steady: thanks, I agree I could have gotten away with 512 but I wanted to practice working at higher res. Sorry, I have no idea how to get him into UT2k4

shotgun: Hahaha! No excuses indeed! Gotta study and try harder. Not sure how my colour choices are weak? If you could explain more about that, it would be great.

Gotta another model in the works, I should post it here to get some feedback on.

edit: Here is a new, improved render-
Offline , spline, 128 Posts, Join Date Oct 2004, Location Australia  
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EarthQuake's Avatar
Old (#8)
you should take that mohawlk plane and duplicate it like 10 times spaced out a little bit each so it actually looks like it has some depth to it
Offline , Moderator, 8,627 Posts, Join Date Oct 2004, Location Iowa City, IA  
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mr.toast's Avatar
Old (#9)
his traps look way to small, size em up a bit
Offline , spline, 219 Posts, Join Date Oct 2004,  
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Isis' Minion's Avatar
Old (#10)
Might be just me, but his arms are too short, i think. Width of the arms like that is supposed to be about as long as your character is tall, isnt that right?

I really like the texture on the pants. Looking very nice, over all [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
Offline , line, 88 Posts, Join Date Jun 2005, Location Netherlands  
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shotgun's Avatar
Old (#11)
you dont need me to teach you about color (not that i could anyways). ron lemen has a tut here: http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=17837

if you cant see yourself how is your color palette weak, my hand is too short im afraid
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Offline , dedicated polycounter, 1,887 Posts, Join Date Nov 2004, Location Israel Send a message via ICQ to shotgun  
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Makk's Avatar
Old (#12)
Did some tweaking...


Enlarged the ends of his hands, made his traps bigger and rounded and enlarged the sole of the boots. Also change the texture overlay on the mask and had a go at getting some more colour into the highlights and shadows of his flesh.
Now Im definitly calling this one done, Im so sick of looking at it!!
Offline , spline, 128 Posts, Join Date Oct 2004, Location Australia  
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