Hiya, this is my first post on the new polycount boards. It's actually quite some time ago I posted anything here. If I remember correctly my last post at the old boards was in the 256 or head division thread and I wasn't very active before that either. The reason for my absence is I'm in a serious art rut.
After I finished my skins for Demon Princess' Yuka model ( now more than a year ago) I have been so busy with school I didn't have enough time to work on new projects. I managed to finish two team skins (still have to post them) for DemonPrincess' Leila model, but never found the time and energy to create the default skin.
Because I wasn't very productive anymore, I became increasingly demotivated to post anything here. It didn't seem fit to post feedback on the quality of the work of others, while being so unproductive. At first I thought that everything would be better after my graduation, because I would have a lot more time for myself.
I'm studing 'Management, Economics & Law' and I'm in the second year now and still haven't made a lot of art. Although I have the time to create anything I would like, I lack the motivation and inspiration to make new skins. Born in a family of creative people I have been drawing for almost my whole life and had lots of other creative enterprises, but now I'm starting to realize I've never had an internal drive to create.
External factors like receiving recognition always motivated me to make drawings, stuffed toys, skins and to get good grades at school. I've always tried to measure myself with others; I wanted to be the best in everything or at least be 'better' then my sister Demon Princess. When I saw someone was very skilled in something and received lots of praise, I immediately became jealous and wanted the same. I know it's insane to try to be the best in everything, but I never realized I was trying to be the best.
I now wonder how to continue. After I realized I was working myself to death to accomplish an impossible goal, I lost all my motivation to make art and skins. I wonder if art is really my thing, because I never felt an inner drive to create. However, I just reregistered myself here, because I haven't developed anything else and it became an important part of my life. I try to become motivated again, so I can finish the things I started. I really wonder what your drives are to create. You're welcome to post your own experiences with art ruts too ofcourse.
(Sorry, if this post is in Ingrish or too long).