Hello, my first post on polycount, but I have been a fan of the work here for years, been posting on cgtalk and cgchat for a while and decided it was time to post here too . I need some critique on my character for the cgchat challenge (mythological characters) my character is athena. I am looking for any input or design ideas/critique before I need to have it finished and submitted on the 1st of November, I am looking for very critical eyes as I wan't this to be a solid character with few flaws. Anyway right now for me I hate the handle on her staff, the eyes on the owl head on her helmet bug me(easy fix) her shin guards and feet are untextured, her bracers need more pop and so does the shield. The requirements are 2500 triangles with 1X512 but I chose 4X 256 sheets. I couldnt decide whether I wanted her more imperial and godlike or more gladiatorial as athena is goddess of war, I went with a more greek style as she is more nude, all athletes were completely naked for the most part. Anyway both outfits are included in the 2500 tri count so I am looking for a way to pose them in a beauty render for the final submission and am looking for critique and ideas. I am wondering if I should add glowing eyes to them or not, I kinda like the way she looks though, just looking for opinions. anyway here are my rough concepts to where she is today so far a little over a 2week production time:

oh yeah I have till the 1st of November to make any changes and get all the renders done so any ideas on how to arrange them together in one shot would be greatly appreciated.

Wicked dude. really great stuff.

Ather than the legs being worked on this is ACE!

thanks mandinga

Looks great the only thing i can really say as far as crits go is the shield looks a little blured, does it have a small place on the uv or something? Could we see a close up of the face and some texture flats?

I still don't know why the ancients thought fighting naked was a good idea.

Actually only ancient men fought naked (well, actually I don't think they fought naked, they did sports naked and wore armor in combat), the women always wore clothes to cover everything up...

Athena is the goddess of wisdom, Ares/Mars is the guy responsible for war, though Athena is a better fighter than him.

I'd kill off the high heels, they wore sandals back then and having high heels on those would be cumbersome and painful, also the front of the feet looks a bit blocky.

excellent advice any more would be mucho appreciated

i like those concepts as well as the model, very good form and poses. I have a question though, 2500 polys can be alot depending on how you use them, can you post some wires just so we have an idea of how much more you have to work with? Also, you have 2 versions of her, maybe try to pull together a unified version of those two versions we're seeing. And I dont know if you want to focus on getting too detailed with the texturing just yet, if you're still blocking out most of the character design.

Wow, those are some pretty nice looking breasts. They are a nice size, and look soft to the touch.
The Shield could use some sharpening, and some more depth to the red skirt. I like the brick red of it, but it could use some stronger highlights and shadows.

Also, she does not appear to have any clavicles. Also she seems to have a small forehead. Her hair seems to come in a bit too far. Her nose also seems to be pinched at the end. Doesn't look very roman or greek.

One last thing. That whooshy FF7 style aura she has around her could stand being much more saturated. IMO.

Overall its looking great , i think (if you have time) you should work on sculpting the body abit , the knees, calfs and shoulders need work .... the face and .. uuh , boobies look great , maybe she would have some prenounsiation in the collar bone area ..? is she modeled posed or for animation ?? if shes modled in a diferent pose , can we se it , as things can get distorted and some of the problems may be rigging..

like said before , lets see some wires

keep at it . looking nice

The calves seem big and the top part of her torso seems too long (between the breasts and the shoulders). I think you've done a great job with the rest of it.
I do agree though, it seems odd that she would have armor such as a helmet and shield, and even the skirt, but she wears nothing on top. I think she's a little too proud of her breasts [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
That and she should be holding the staff, not just leaning it against her hand.

Yo, I dig.

I'd say I'd go back on the skin, sharpen up the details like mad, kinda like the helmet, I'd had more colors on the skins, seem kinda boring, But Yeah, its good. It could be a great great piece, if u had details like mad, and sharpen it.

b1ll

Hey I really appreciate all the input everyone, I will get right to these issues: The collar bone, adding a ton more details, working on the rig a bit, or tweaking some of the model more, I will post the base pose tonight, the rig is kinda sloppy for pose but works ok, I will upload it and maybe if any of you are in the mood could mark what needs to be changed, once again I really appreciate the input, I am trying to make a really quality piece so I really appreciate critics. Thanks a bunch -Jeremy

hey thats sweet!

she looks like she a labret spike, kinda funky. Her hair also seems to transition from head to hair oddly, she's got helmet head. The shadows on the inner bridge of the nose may be a bit toooo dark, making her eyes sink in more and seem less attractive.

It looks like the lower body has been neglected kinda, not sure if you arent done there or not though. The shin armor isnt as cool as the helmet, and she aint got no toes!

I really dig the helmet and sheild designs [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] it just looks like it needs a bit of polish to it.

mmm nudy [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

shit... you know what.. moose is very right I did neglect the lower half damn you!!! hehe now I need to integrate the wing motif in the shins and make it not blow ass, I am so bad at the last few steps involved in making a character soooo easy to get sidetracked, I am not sure what a labret spike is though. -cheers

Btw i notice the face seems a little bland or flat, it could some some work, mainly the lip area, or just the skin texture entirely could be a little better. And that smilie should of ben a big smile one not a laughing one! >_<

Most issues have been touched on. Real quick tho. Why in the concept, are her breasts practically around her waist? lol. Other than that, I dig the style of the concept, nice quick rendering. On the texture map, you might want to pay attention to the ratio of the texel density. The spear looks super crisp, so does the helmet, then the shield is blurry, and the leg straps look kind of blurry. It could be just the texture isnt sharp itself, but

looking good.

I figured out what was on I had a filter turned on on the shield skin in maya I usually set that to off, it was blurring it a bit I have made quite a few changes now, thinking of skipping sleep to make some major progress, all these little things matter

its ok I have old M.J. to keep me awake... Michael Jackson...I know its sad HA!

here is where she is at now, its 12:50 am. The resolution is kinda crappy as I use dial up so I reduced quality a bit, but final renders will be full quality. I know the tex sheets are confusing I swear there is a method to my madness, I have been trying diff layouts as I have been changing her shape, optimizing, rebuilding, reunwrapping, made a sword and some stuff to make her assymettrical like an armband on one side, fixed a few things suggested, have the planes set up for her helmet now to create transparencies, she is weighing in at 2469 including weapons, effects and everything else and I still have a lot of work to do. Poop: the concept was done really quickly so I was mostly trying to just get an idea down for myself, just a speed paint however if you notice her crotch is way lower than her breasts, the belt was kinda high along with the cloth I saw a statue of athena with one breast bared and a short skirt with similar proportions and I thought it was interesting so I derived this from that. have been working a bit on her spec maps too, will have some examples of that up soon, that along with adding speckles and beauty marks and more shade to skin and armor will make her look less flat I think. The extra polygons will probably go to even more rounding unless any of you can think of anything that needs them.

labret spike is a piercing below the lower lip, in that area between the lip and chin, or "soul patch" area.

it only shows up in the reders at the top of the thread though... i got nuthin.

The face looks like it could use some extensive work. The eyes are set too high and the nose is far too small. Bottom lip is a little on the over sized side.

[ QUOTE ]
Athena is the goddess of wisdom, Ares/Mars is the guy responsible for war, though Athena is a better fighter than him.

[/ QUOTE ]Actually, Athena had her devine finger in a few pies. Wisdom, war, the arts, industry, justice and skill.

I love the style of armor worn by the ancient greek hoplites. Great character. The weapon, shield, and helmets have nice designs. Her face shows some personality. I'm glad to see the breast aren't exaggerated, and fit naturally with the shape of the body. You must have a girlfriend. :P