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Confused about everthing, depressed in the process.

Hi polycount. I guess this can double as an introductory post. My name is Justin. I'm 22 and I graduated last year. I went to ITT Techinial Institute for the Bachelor's of Digital Entertainment and Game Design. Upon graduating, I realized that there is a TON OF THINGS that I don't know how to do. This disappointed me greatly because I really want to focus on the art side of things. This is an area where I always wanted to get better at. During the summer that I graduated, I got into some bad habits. I got really lazy and I never improved on what little that I knew. Finding a job in my field is a nightmare because I don't nearly have the experience that I would want to qualify for one. For now I'm stuck doing a job that I really don't like, fast food. This made me feel even worse. Every day I visit facebook, it makes me mad to see my peers passing me up in life. It makes it even worse when I see people that are years younger than me doing amazing things like the stuff I see here and other sites like DeviantArt. What should I do to get out of this rut? I really want to get better at 2D art as well as 3D art. Where should I start? I feel that at my age, I should be pro by now. How do i get out of this? I apologize if I come off a bit whiny in this post but trust me, I'm usually not like this. I kind of don't know who I am anymore. Is this what a quarter life crisis is like?

Replies

  • skylebones
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    skylebones polycounter lvl 10
    There is no shortcut or easy answer. But...
    During the summer that I graduated, I got into some bad habits. I got really lazy and I never improved on what little that I knew.

    This is the thing you need to fix right here. The only way you get better at art is working and improving at art. Spent all your spare time practicing. If you can't sit down and actually work on art then read art books and study anatomy, color theory, lighting, perspective, composition, etc.

    All those people that are really good got that way by working at it. Hard work really does pay off and nobody was born painting like Craig Mullins.

    Bust ass, hang in there, and good luck!
  • megazordprime
    skylebones wrote: »
    There is no shortcut or easy answer. But...



    This is the thing you need to fix right here. The only way you get better at art is working and improving at art. Spent all your spare time practicing. If you can't sit down and actually work on art then read art books and study anatomy, color theory, lighting, perspective, composition, etc.

    All those people that are really good got that way by working at it. Hard work really does pay off and nobody was born painting like Craig Mullins.

    You're right is another problem I have is I over think things and I scare myself in actually believing that I can actually do it.
  • Autocon
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    Autocon polycounter lvl 15
    First off, there are HUNDREDS of posts just like this, your not a unique snowflake whos situation is different so using the search function to find the 2 or 3 other threads made per week about this same topic will help.

    Its like a metaphor for work, dont expect people to spoon feed you the answers, you have to activity search for the answers to get better.

    The number 1 piece of advice anyone will give you will be "Shut up and post your work on polycount to get feedback and improve." That is the best advice that can be given and if you actually want to get better, do that. Dont whine about your situation, your 22? Your super young. Most people are not "pros" at 22, some people dont get into the industry till there late 20's/30's! So dont use that as an excuses because it wont cut it.

    There are people who are in worse off situations then you but still find time after there shity job to work on there art. I really doubt your working in fast food more than 8hrs a day 5 days a week. That gives you TONS of time to work on art and improving your skills.



    This is not a quarter life crisis, your not even 25, this is the same, "Oh shit I jsut finished college now I have to find a job that I want to do for the rest of my life" crisis. Everyone has that and most people (from my experience) dont even know what they really want to do with there life by the time college ends, lots of them are still adrift.


    Short answer, if this is what you want to do, stop wasting time asking people what you should be doing and just buckle down, make some industry quality art, post on PC, get crits, apply feedback, and improve.
  • nick2730
    26 and im still working to get in . Graduated 2 years ago still no job but i work every day to try and make it happen
  • megazordprime
    Now I feel bad for posting this thread. If I'm good at anything, its wasting time.
  • Blaisoid
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    Blaisoid polycounter lvl 7
    the way i see it, in this kind of situations you can choose one of the following mindsets:

    "i envy those motherfuckers, so i'll do whatever it takes to eventually get awesome too"
    OR
    "i envy those motherfuckers, teh life is unfair!!!11!1!1111!1!one. now lemme wait till universe realizes its mistake, apologizes and finally gives me a damn job!"

    in the long run seeing your skills improving is the main source of motivation to keep going. at least for me. but you can't improve if you don't start working your ass off.
  • Paradan
    there are people coming out of law school that cant find employment. things are tough right now, make the best of it and practice. At least your student loan is under $50,000.
  • megazordprime
    Paradan wrote: »
    there are people coming out of law school that cant find employment. things are tough right now, make the best of it and practice. At least your student loan is under $50,000.

    You got a point.
  • megazordprime
    Blaisoid wrote: »
    the way i see it, in this kind of situations you can choose one of the following mindsets:

    "i envy those motherfuckers, so i'll do whatever it takes to eventually get awesome too"
    OR
    "i envy those motherfuckers, teh life is unfair!!!11!1!1111!1!one. now lemme wait till universe realizes its mistake, apologizes and finally gives me a damn job!"

    in the long run seeing your skills improving is the main source of motivation to keep going. at least for me. but you can't improve if you don't start working your ass off.

    The bottom quote is me so much. I really hate that I think that way.
  • Lombos
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    Lombos polycounter lvl 6
    26, graduated December 2010. I sharpen hockey skates part time and live at home. It sucks and I hate it. All I can do is stay focused on what I really want and work to get there. It's hard, you're not alone and people in a similar position to you are working their ass off to get out if it. So you better get started, good luck.
  • Drav
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    Drav polycounter lvl 9
    Autocon has smashed it. I think that answer should be copied and pasted to all these threads and then they get locked. Wasnt there some shit about Polycount is not your blog years back?

    Nothing personal to megazord, but i could quite happily see these kind of threads locked unless they offer something halfway unique.....
  • Saman
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    Saman polycounter lvl 13
    Sounds like every little mistake you do makes you feel bad. I would advice you to stop having that kind of attitude. What you need the most when improving is having a good attitude and discipline. If you have a good motivation these two might come automatically. There are some threads on polycount which address the problem you're having but there is no good solution for everyone. Just try working on whatever you're passionate about and after a few weeks you won't have much problems with lack of discipline etc.
    Here is a thread with some good advice;
    http://www.polycount.com/forum/showthread.php?t=97919

    Although I don't agree with everything in this particular post, people loved it and found it very inspiring;
    http://www.polycount.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1569240&postcount=75
  • moose
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    moose polycount sponsor
    Now I feel bad for posting this thread. If I'm good at anything, its wasting time.

    Don't beat yourself up! Sometimes its good to let stuff out, and have other people help talk you up :)

    Seriously, what you're feeling is natural. Its easy to look at it and feel that you're falling behind, but I would suggest you look at it as a motivator. You can do it, fuck them! Someone got a job as an intern at a XYZ?! Fuck them! You'll do one better! I know how you're feeling too - every time I look at the WYAWO thread I feel depressed I don't do more art. I use that as a tool to say FUUUUCKIT im going to do that shit too! Its cool, I can and I will!

    Its very easy to slip into an art depression, but its hard to pull out of it. With that though, the rewards are 100000x greater when you do. Don't give up, keep doing shit, and everything will be awesome.

    I would start by thinking about something you love or hate, and start making art for that. You mentioned your job you don't like, what if you built a 3d replica of where you work, trying to get as realistic as possible or a hyper stylized version of it? Or if you really really love frogs, make some frogs. Try something different every day, or every few days - but be consistent.

    You may also want to devote time for yourself as "art time," similar to a workout schedule. Be adamant and hardcore with yourself about keeping to it, and keep plugging.

    Keep in mind, as you do stuff, you're going to hate it - but don't let that depress you further. You may not hate it though, but you've gotta do it first to know. Keep making stuff, looking at stuff, etc. With the awesome art you see here & around the net/in games - make your goal to create art that is as good, if not better than it. When you finish a piece, look at it and recognize where you didn't hit the marks or it's not "XYZ quality," and make sure to fix that in the next piece.

    Keep your head up, don't give up! You can do it, but you need to suck it up and start putting your hands to work. Good luck!

    //edit: also, what Autocon said.
  • Uncle_Gun
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    Uncle_Gun polycounter lvl 6
    Hey megazordprime I am graduating this summer and flipping out too. BUT while I'm in the process of finding a job in the industry, I have several small projects that I'm working on with friends and colleagues. And though I do something every day, I always feel that I need to do more, or that I'm not doing enough depending on my current mind set. But in a way, I feel that these feelings are OK because we should always feel the need to better ourselves. I think everyone gets discouraged every now and then about things, but as long as you stay focused and keep creating, you will always be making progress.

    Alright mushy guidance counselor session over. Go do some art!
  • megazordprime
    Drav wrote: »
    Autocon has smashed it. I think that answer should be copied and pasted to all these threads and then they get locked. Wasnt there some shit about Polycount is not your blog years back?

    Nothing personal to megazord, but i could quite happily see these kind of threads locked unless they offer something halfway unique.....

    I should've looked at other threads about this topic before posting mine. I apologize ruining this great forum with my whining.
  • aajohnny
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    aajohnny polycounter lvl 13
    I should've looked at other threads about this topic before posting mine. I apologize ruining this great forum with my whining.

    Can you please stop? nobody is going to shoot you because you didn't search, just next time search :thumbup: I mean yeah its a tough position to be in but like Autocon said your not the only one in this situation. You are never going to make it if your attitude is always like this. I'm not going to sugarcoat this but instead of posting about it do something about it! Sit down and make something... nobody can just sit down and make amazing, top notch art without doing a thing. Stop being so hard on yourself and just apply yourself. You won't get anywhere with that attitude and if you apply that attitude to your work it'll show. How many time can I say attitude? lol
  • Justin Meisse
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    Justin Meisse polycounter lvl 18
    saw a good post on Boingboing which is sort of like a longer version of my signature:

    "Inspiration sucks Wise words from Nick Cave: "Inspiration is a word used by people who aren't really doing anything. I go into my office every day that I'm in Brighton and work. Whether I feel like it or not is irrelevant." Inspiration is nice, but if you only work when it strikes, you're going to be an unhappy artist. This is especially true if you want to earn a living at it; you don't hear about surgeons getting "surgeon's block" or garbage men getting "garbage men's block." There are assuredly days when the surgeon doesn't want to be removing gall-bladders, but she does it anyway, because that's her job"
  • megazordprime
    aajohnny wrote: »
    Can you please stop? nobody is going to shoot you because you didn't search, just next time search :thumbup: I mean yeah its a tough position to be in but like Autocon said your not the only one in this situation. You are never going to make it if your attitude is always like this. I'm not going to sugarcoat this but instead of posting about it do something about it! Sit down and make something... nobody can just sit down and make amazing, top notch art without doing a thing. Stop being so hard on yourself and just apply yourself. You won't get anywhere with that attitude and if you apply that attitude to your work it'll show. How many time can I say attitude? lol

    A lot lol. I really don't know how not to be hard on myself. Even now as I'm starting this thread I feel like an idiot for even posting it. I should be working on stuff, not whining on here like a scared little boy.
  • Kwramm
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    Kwramm interpolator
    many many people came out of college being/feeling ill prepared for the real world. But that's not unique to our industry.

    Many people, including me, kept learning, and most importantly, practicing after graduation. All the practice can't possibly fit into a college's schedule. They should teach you the basics, but you'll end up practicing for a long time after.

    Seek professional feedback, e.g. here on polycount. And don't be afraid to apply for jobs! Don't think "I'm not ready yet, I better not apply". Forget about this mindset. The only person who decides you're not ready is the prospective employer. Take baby steps towards your goal. You may want to make game art, but if there's another art job available that's a stepping stone - go for it!

    And stop comparing your own situation to others. I just makes you unhappy. When I started out as lowly modeler some friends got good jobs at SAP or IBM. Yet over 10 years later I've lived in exciting places like Shanghai and London and worked on projects for Crytek, ILM, EA and others. Things can change with time :)
  • megazordprime
    Kwramm wrote: »
    many many people came out of college being/feeling ill prepared for the real world. But that's not unique to our industry.

    Many people, including me, kept learning, and most importantly, practicing after graduation. All the practice can't possibly fit into a college's schedule. They should teach you the basics, but you'll end up practicing for a long time after.

    Seek professional feedback, e.g. here on polycount. And don't be afraid to apply for jobs! Don't think "I'm not ready yet, I better not apply". Forget about this mindset. The only person who decides you're not ready is the prospective employer. Take baby steps towards your goal. You may want to make game art, but if there's another art job available that's a stepping stone - go for it!

    And stop comparing your own situation to others. I just makes you unhappy. When I started out as lowly modeler some friends got good jobs at SAP or IBM. Yet over 10 years later I've lived in exciting places like Shanghai and London and worked on projects for Crytek, ILM, EA and others. Things can change with time :)
    I think that I heard enough from autocon. I just need to do more doing and less bitching. Thanks for your reply. You should see some stuff from me really soon. It may suck but that's the point of getting better.
  • Andreas
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    Andreas polycounter lvl 11
    Now I feel bad for posting this thread. If I'm good at anything, its wasting time.

    Better off leaving this attitude to deviantArt diary entries tbh. Every post of yours in this thread has been 'Oh I'm so terrible'. This might get the sympathy vote on deviantArt, but if you talk to a potential recruiter like this, it will be a huge turn-off.

    Start with small projects, small self-contained tutorials. Of course you are going to feel bad if you try something too complicated involving processes you do not understand. You're just going to quit then. Start with small tutorials like crate tutorials etc. (scour the internet yourself, this is an important skill to learn, getting what information you need by yourself). Learn one thing per project. And lose the self defeating attitude, it ain't going to endear you to anyone. Make your own thread in Pimping & Previews and I'm sure people will post to give you advice. But don't expect people to spoonfeed you either.

    If you do that, you could be working in the industry within two years, I've seen people on here go from nothing to AAA studio gigs in that time. Otherwise you're going to be flippin' burgers into your 30's. Good luck and I look forward to your P&P thread :) Once you make it I'll start you out with some links to tutorials I think have good workflows.
  • biofrost
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    biofrost polycounter lvl 12
    Listen to everyone in this thread and drop the attitude. I was in the exact same position you were only a year earlier. I too just graduated from ITT Tech but last year I found this place. I made a similar topic realizing I did not know enough to get in the industry and was determined to get my skills up in the year before i graduate.

    So you know what I did, I worked my ass of for the past year improving my self. It is not a easy road to go down but if this is what you want to do for a career you will have to go through it. Just realize everyone was in your position once, it is overwhelming but just take it one step at a time and stay persistence at it and you will get there. Skills take time and dedication to get.
  • megazordprime
    biofrost wrote: »
    Listen to everyone in this thread and drop the attitude. I was in the exact same position you were only a year earlier. I too just graduated from ITT Tech but last year I found this place. I made a similar topic realizing I did not know enough to get in the industry and was determined to get my skills up in the year before i graduate.

    So you know what I did, I worked my ass of for the past year improving my self. It is not a easy road to go down but if this is what you want to do for a career you will have to go through it. Just realize everyone was in your position once, it is overwhelming but just take it one step at a time and stay persistence at it and you will get there. Skills take time and dedication to get.

    I understand now. I'm clearly not trying hard enough. But I will. Wasting time on this site wont make me a good artist. I have to bring something here first right?
  • Macattackk
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    Macattackk polycounter lvl 7
    "i envy those motherfuckers, so i'll do whatever it takes to eventually get awesome too"

    this
  • Mask_Salesman
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    Mask_Salesman polycounter lvl 13
    There should be a sticky thread called "Man Up Son". If your not working your ass off, your not in the industry lol.

    Although I thought that's what this thread was for:

    Getting into the Game Industry (Inspiration of a different kind)

    &

    http://wiki.polycount.com/

    &
    "i envy those motherfuckers, so i'll do whatever it takes to eventually get awesome too"

    DO IT NAOW!
  • JR
  • dempolys
    daphz wrote: »
    If you keep starting things over because of losing interest or running into problems, you're going to end up with gigs of folders of half finished stuff. (like me!)

    Motivation sometimes fizzles out after a while, but that doesn't really matter anymore. If you want to finish things, sometimes you have to just sit down and force yourself to do it. There's no magical answer or shortcut. Just have to do it.

    This thread might be of help: http://www.polycount.com/forum/showthread.php?t=88366&highlight=motivation+graph

    idea-01.jpg

    (graph by del)

    ^^
  • Macattackk
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    Macattackk polycounter lvl 7
    now that we're posting threads: http://www.mapcore.org/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=14350

    also, you should change your avatar to something more inspiring, I doubt "feels bad pony" is helping you and your ego out.
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